The Whys of Returning.

Read this again.. And I was reminded about my oblivion of all that is happening in the country I have called home all these years..

Malaysia is home. It is ideal. Because I have yet to see her ugly side. I have yet to experience the depths of disgust at corruption issues, racism, unfair elections, and the like.

That post was written on November 12, 2007. It's the 30th of April today. A year and a half after what I wrote then.

And today, I experience and have been experiencing deeply that depth of disgust at corruption issues, racism, unfair elections.. and the like. And this is what I read about in non-for-government newspapers and sociopolitic blogs. I'm not even there yet.

...

I have been asking the million dollar question, undoubtedly..

Where do YOU want me to go, God?

And the silence was deafening.

It's so much easier if HE tells me where HE wants me to go, so then I don't have to decide on my own, and if at all anything goes wrong.. He's to be responsible.

Okay.. I have to be responsible for my own choices, but you get my drift?

But no. No audible voice. No writings in the sky. No slight nudge even.

The only thing I learn and have been learning about is His heart and His purpose for creation.

Redemption.

It's such a Christian-y word that when people read it, they cringe at what's gona come next. Surely it's another preachy post again.

Perhaps it is.

But I have learnt that redemption has more to offer than that. My God isn't interested only in people becoming Christians just for the sake of it.

He's interested in seeing the hungry fed, the naked clothed, the homeless provided with shelter, the chains of injustice broken, and the oppressed set free (Isaiah 58).

THAT is Redemption. It's not just about becoming Christians and becoming"holy".

Trusting that God made this world, and aches for it to return to the way it is meant to be puts things into perspective.

Yes, this world is bad. Which country isn't bad?

But there is an ultimate hope - that He is doing something about the state of bad-ness this world is in.

And I want to be a part of that.

Malaysia has a looooong way to go in seeing the hungry fed, the naked clothed, the homeless provided with shelter, the chains of injustice broken, and the oppressed set free.

I have learnt that it is really not about being self-centered and finding out what He wants for Me. Surely, there is a place for that.

But it really is about finding out what He wants done, and what His purpose is for His people. And from there, I find mine.

And thus, I have decided to come home.

And the definition of home is another matter altogether. After all, I am but a pilgrim on this earth, no?

...

Having said all of that, I AM worried. I AM scared stiff. I FEAR regret. I cry at the thought of going home. I wonder what life would be like if I were to continue on in Australia.

But I AM excited. I KNOW He hasn't given up on my country. And there are plenty of people running for change. I am but one of many.

Hopefully when I'm 89, I'd live to say that this decision is worth it.

Till the 22nd of August..

P.S. It's the 30th of April today, and it's a huge Happy Birthday to Basil Jez! You've been a totally awesome friend, and I'm glad my journey here in Adelaide has intertwined with your journey. Looking forward to more years ahead, back home probably? ;)

And to my anointed friend back home, happy birthday to you too! :)