Re: 22

Dear 20,

Funny how I totally forgotten about that letter you wrote, until I was digging up old blog entries. Ah. Didn't know you were so emo then. Then again, in the emo department, nothing much has changed ;)

So. I figured since I have time, I might as well reply you.

Yup. You've officially finished your masters, and you're officially unemployed now. The ecstacy of being a graduate only lasted probably a week. After which, it's not really very fun trying to think of what you can or cannot do.

And yeah. It's 25 days before I go now. How does it feel? Numb, I reckon. I'd really rather be emotionless, than to be sad or happy. I think crying's too energy and time consuming. We shall try to avoid the whole ordeal of tears, yes?

When you were you, you've just left and you were still trying to fit into everything there. Thanks for being determined not to look back, and for trying to fully be here in Adelaide and to enjoy the moments. It's been a year and a half since I've gone home now.. And home feels.. further than what it used to be.

How were the last 2 years? It was way more than awesome. Way more. Since you wrote that letter to me, you've been a part of an exciting committee in OCF.. of which you learnt heaps. Not just from the things you were required to do, but from people who were running the race fervently as well.

And after that, another significant moment was when you jumped on board a missions trip that took you and 3.5 really awesome and fun people over 3 countries in 3 weeks! That was an unbelievable trip away. The way we dragged ourselves out of bed every morning after horribly late nights, the way we did last minute preparations for the kids, the naughty naughty kids we handled (and tried to strangle).. remain a very special memory up till today.

But what's more exciting to you now is what a professor - Dr. Angelita Martini would teach you in your final semester at uni.. The best time before you prepare your mind to go back. And this was what she said - change within a country or within a system cannot happen apolitically.

And that will be one thought that will get you stuck in confusion.

What are my plans now? I don't have any.

Despite the excitement over brain injury, it's gona be hard to get a job because of silly systems that do not recognize people who are any 'lower' than medical doctors. You have to do a PhD, eventually. Or so it is what they require.

What else am I going to do? No, I do not have the slightest clue.

You need connections for a job, they say. But.. where do I start finding connections from? In which field?

What do you really WANT to do?

Some days I think I just completed the wrong course. And some others.. I know that all that couldn't have been a mistake.

Perhaps I'll just have to wait and see how the plan would unfold.

Guy sector. It's still a no-go. But, at this point in time, that's the least of all the concerns I have.

At this point, you hate Adelaide no more. You love it to bits. You love the people it came with more than ever. And these are friends who have been there in the lowest of times, and people who have accepted you - but yet challenged you to grow.

It's time now. Time to get up and get going. About time to return. But it gets more and more disappointing each day.. as you no longer read only about how money is being irresponsibly spent by the authorities. Things have evolved to involve people dying as a result of the political game.

...

It's awfully hard now. But one thing I can answer you.. Yes, the journey was worth it. The learning was worth it. The crying was worth it. The laughing was worth it.

The weather forecast of the next season looks like it's still going to be hard, but you know deep down inside there's a little shoot of excitement waiting to sprout. Nurture it, let it sprout. Hopefully it'll bear fruit soon. You've taught me that God is faithful, and He will continue to be.

And knowing that God and His plans are worth following, it won't be long till the sun comes up again. And, it'll be yet another journey that's worthwhile :)

Love,
22.