May 7, 2009

The fingers itch to type again.

Dad will freak out if he does check out this blog. Mum's friend's daughter was interrogated by the police for seditious writings on her blog. But well, we're not going there today. (But hey, since when have we become so afraid of saying what we really think, hey?)

Yesterday was.. I don't even have the right adjective to describe it. I sat in front of my laptop the whole day, no, not doing my assignment as I am supposed to.. but waiting for minute-updates of what is happening in Perak. Even signed up for Twitter just to receive the MalaysianInsider updates. It was so hard to contain all the emotions within me.. with no one to turn to or scream at. The dear friend in Ipoh can only giggle at what I was frustrated at. Ish you ;)

Having been recently making the conscious effort to catch up on politics in Malaysia, I've been spending hours (literally) in the mornings reading up on what's happening in Malaysia. Maklumlah.. dah nak balik kampung, kan?

If you do catch up on Malaysian news, you know that after reading it, you will feel worse off than before. Guaranteed.

To watch in action leaders fighting physically over what was meant to be (or what could turn out to be) a peaceful discussion really made me think. And made something in me tick.

The hours of morning news that I read is then countered by reading what happens in biblical times.. and learning about their political system.

Hey, it's valid, okay? Joseph was the Prime Minister, Samson and Samuel were judges, Saul, David, and Solomon were kings, and Esther was well.. the Queen :) Even the prophets were involved in politics - by being the kings' conscience.

And it has been an eye opener thus far.

It has been encouraging, knowing that a major part of the Old Testament was about politics, in today's terms. And to know that God when He said He's the King of kings and the Lord of lords - meant what He said.

But to see how in being a leader, their ups were all related to one common thing: God's position in their lives..

And their downs were also related to similar things: the craving for power, the influence of bad-unedifying relationships, and greed for more.

And I cringed at the thought that I too am faced by the same things the kings faced that brought them down.

I wonder what I will be able to do when I get back. And where to start this looonnnnggggg journey.

Ps. Jon on Sunday said this..

It's not our place to add the super and the extra to the natural and the ordinary.

I cannot agree more. We're called to be who we are. The natural, and the ordinary.

And when we pair up with the Super and the Extra from up above, that's when things start to happen :)

May 7, 2009. How it all turned Black. I'll remember that day. And I'll pass it on.

1Malaysia.

Turns Black tomorrow.

The Whys of Returning.

Read this again.. And I was reminded about my oblivion of all that is happening in the country I have called home all these years..

Malaysia is home. It is ideal. Because I have yet to see her ugly side. I have yet to experience the depths of disgust at corruption issues, racism, unfair elections, and the like.

That post was written on November 12, 2007. It's the 30th of April today. A year and a half after what I wrote then.

And today, I experience and have been experiencing deeply that depth of disgust at corruption issues, racism, unfair elections.. and the like. And this is what I read about in non-for-government newspapers and sociopolitic blogs. I'm not even there yet.

...

I have been asking the million dollar question, undoubtedly..

Where do YOU want me to go, God?

And the silence was deafening.

It's so much easier if HE tells me where HE wants me to go, so then I don't have to decide on my own, and if at all anything goes wrong.. He's to be responsible.

Okay.. I have to be responsible for my own choices, but you get my drift?

But no. No audible voice. No writings in the sky. No slight nudge even.

The only thing I learn and have been learning about is His heart and His purpose for creation.

Redemption.

It's such a Christian-y word that when people read it, they cringe at what's gona come next. Surely it's another preachy post again.

Perhaps it is.

But I have learnt that redemption has more to offer than that. My God isn't interested only in people becoming Christians just for the sake of it.

He's interested in seeing the hungry fed, the naked clothed, the homeless provided with shelter, the chains of injustice broken, and the oppressed set free (Isaiah 58).

THAT is Redemption. It's not just about becoming Christians and becoming"holy".

Trusting that God made this world, and aches for it to return to the way it is meant to be puts things into perspective.

Yes, this world is bad. Which country isn't bad?

But there is an ultimate hope - that He is doing something about the state of bad-ness this world is in.

And I want to be a part of that.

Malaysia has a looooong way to go in seeing the hungry fed, the naked clothed, the homeless provided with shelter, the chains of injustice broken, and the oppressed set free.

I have learnt that it is really not about being self-centered and finding out what He wants for Me. Surely, there is a place for that.

But it really is about finding out what He wants done, and what His purpose is for His people. And from there, I find mine.

And thus, I have decided to come home.

And the definition of home is another matter altogether. After all, I am but a pilgrim on this earth, no?

...

Having said all of that, I AM worried. I AM scared stiff. I FEAR regret. I cry at the thought of going home. I wonder what life would be like if I were to continue on in Australia.

But I AM excited. I KNOW He hasn't given up on my country. And there are plenty of people running for change. I am but one of many.

Hopefully when I'm 89, I'd live to say that this decision is worth it.

Till the 22nd of August..

P.S. It's the 30th of April today, and it's a huge Happy Birthday to Basil Jez! You've been a totally awesome friend, and I'm glad my journey here in Adelaide has intertwined with your journey. Looking forward to more years ahead, back home probably? ;)

And to my anointed friend back home, happy birthday to you too! :)

Ogos 22, 2009

Yesterday was attempt no. 1 at booking my one-way flight ticket back to Bolehland.

Upon reaching the payment page on the website, I was too emotional to continue the process. I was sobbing like a beruk, apparently. So, the red X was the best option at that time.

Tonight is attempt no. 2 at booking the same flight ticket back home. Because MAS is going low on their fares now. Which ends at 12am. Have to maintain cheapskate identity! Heh.

And.. I'm going (coming) home.

I am.

On the 22nd of August, 2009.

...

...

...

I don't even know what next to say now. It feels..

.. I can't describe it. Crying like a beruk may give you a hint as to how I feel about going home.

We'll see come the 22nd of August.

We'll see.

Human Capital Development Plan of Malaysia - A Rakyat's Point of View

Hi there,

I'm a student, currently studying overseas and one of my topics this semester required me to look up Malaysia's development policies. Have never been one who thought much about politics and policies until now.

Looking up the Ninth Malaysia Plan drawn up to move Malaysia toward Wawasan 2020, one of it's main efforts is for Human Capital Development. Upon more curiosity, I decided to read up on this Human Capital Development plan (found on the PM's official website). Amongst the many focuses of this plan is its focus on politics. And it has a sole focus - that is for the creation of Malay leaders who are skilled, respected, admired, and trusted.

I am writing to you to voice my opinion over what's written in our official development policy. How many of us rakyats really take the time to read what our current leaders have planned for the country? How many of us have heard our leaders talking about racial integration and racial equity without reading what's written black and white on government policies for development?

I am not championing a cause of any particular race - because I believe that this upcoming generation should be taught to see beyond skin colour. If we truly want to see our country develop, why not put aside our selfish wants for ourselves and our particular race?

The generations before us have told us that we are the leaders of tomorrow. But what's being invested in us to be Malaysia's future leaders? Why the racial discrimination? Aren't we all Anak Bangsa Malaysia?

Having read the above plans and policies of our government, I know not who to turn. And where to go to voice out for my generation of young people.

If this is not the right place to voice an opinion, I'll keep trying for other avenues.

--
A Malaysian Rakyat.