Dear Malaysia

Thought I'd write to let you know how I'm feeling about you.

I am disappointed. I am sad. I am frustrated. I am angry.

That we have to resort to ways like these. That we have leaders that fan the flames of racism, rather than be good examples. That my friends and I are still called 'pendatang' (foreigners), after so many years.

I did not choose where to be born. I was born here. Right here. Why am I considered an outsider in a land I was born in? Where else am I supposed to go? To Australia? Where I don't even look remotely similar to the locals? Where I have to redefine my accent to be understood?

I'm frustrated. At times, I hate you. With a passion. At times, I wish I could pack up and leave you. Why bother, really.

I am not even remotely proud to be associated with you. I used to be. A long time ago.

But Malaysia, you have no choice, really. I made up my mind, and I'm not changing it. I will not wait for you to acknowledge me. Or to appreciate me, before I start giving to you. Because, perhaps, you never will.

And the newly coined phrase. 1Malaysia. That, defines disgust. It is an utter disgust!

I can't seem to find that love I had for you. My heart cringes at the mention of your name.

But unfortunately, I come from a generation that believes change is possible. A generation that demands to see change. So, too bad for you, really. I believe that things will, sooner or later, change. And I want to stay a little longer.. till I see it happen.

They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. The cow-head protests, unfair policies, brainless remarks, church firebombings didn't kill me. So now, I can only be stronger.

I AM stronger. I AM more determined. More than ever before.

I can't bring myself to say, "I love you, Malaysia". Not just yet.

But I hope, one day, this fight would be worth it.

I hope, one day, that I will be able to say, it was worth the effort. Worth the wait. Worth the tears.

Sincerely,
Another one of your pendatangs.

Change is Possible!

.. says the ticket machine at Gardens, Midvalley :)

Dream Cheras.

For a long time, I've envied the people living on the greener pastures of Petaling Jaya. Even when you say that two letters "P" and "J", you say it with more air and grace then when you say.. "Cheras". And every time I say I'm from Cheras, you would know what kinda responses I get.

"Hah? Cheras ah? Very jam wan wor that place."
"Cheras ah? A lot of lala-s wan right?"
"Cheras? WAH. SO FAR!"

Okay. That'll be enough for now. I'd probably hurt many-a-feelings if I go on with the list. But yeah, even (apparently), girls from PJ are of a better breed than we from Cheras. And, we get very defensive over the place we were brought up in.

Dreams.

I think we're a generation that has lost the ability to dream.

We are scarred by hurts not of our own. Our parents tell us it is pointless to dream. Their cynicism has rubbed off in our minds. That we dare NOT dream.

Just like how we have absolutely NO reason to be racist. We were NOT there on May the 13th, 1969. We were not the ones hurt by the actions of people then. But we have allowed the hurts of the past be a secondary hurt in our lives today.

Ask the person next to you - "What is your dream?" - and look at that sheepish smile you get. Or that blank face with "Huh? What dream?" - written all over it. We live as if it's out of this world to dream.

But if we truly believe that this place - this world that is fading away - belongs to our Father, and we know His heart for His people who are still living on this side of eternity, wouldn't it be legitimate to DREAM?

And dream Cheras.

Last Sunday, I was convicted when I had a conversation with a very good friend.

Things don't happen by chance, we always say. Do we see it as real in every aspect of our lives? Us Cheras-ians, being born and bred in Cheras (let's not even talk about being born in the bigger geographical area of Malaysia just yet), did not happen by chance. And we upper middle class people (come on, don't kid yourself. If you're reading this from YOUR own computer/laptop with Streamyx, you're so much more well to do than a lot of people), are comfortable where we are.

But we are strategically placed in areas that are brimming over with needs. Economical, social, health, political (yes - political!) needs. And this is OUR chance to dream. And to do something about it.

"Break our hearts for what breaks Yours" - will always remain an emotional statement if we do not couple it with action.

Think globally, act locally.

What are we doing for Cheras today?

And for the non-Cheras-ians who cannot relate to this post.. How about a Dream ______ (insert place of stay) for you?

And..

I miss Adelaide.

Heaps.

:'(

For Humanity

The very dear architect friend sent me a video, which I shall now test my technological skills and try embed a video here. Now, let's see..



Oh, there we go. Google teaches you everything these days.

...

I love the concept of a professional skill being for humanity.

...

Being back, I've been more than frustrated that the world right in front of me is so rich. Or perhaps, how the world in front of me appears to be rich.

Okay, no surprise. It's just me being bitter about life knowing that I will never be able to afford a lifestyle so luxurious, that you do not have to think thrice about buying myself a Coach. At least, the path I want to take now will leave me with a slim chance of being able to afford much, what more a branded handbag.

And the generic goal of life seems to be how to earn more money, and which course you take in university would pay you more, and which career path should you take to land yourself on the right rung of the corporate ladder..

...

But what goes unnoticed is the rest of the world that are not rich, that are barely surviving, and they who really are in need of that professional skill we have in our hands.

And we had that chance of pursuing a level of education that they might never be able to have, if their current state of life continues to persist.

...

And that.. was an inspiring video. And very inspiring people who listen to the needs of the people they are serving, and are not too proud to change their ideas to suit what's needed by the people.

...

"Mummy, when I grow up.. I wana be like that too!"

H.

H for Hey!

H for Home!

Hey! I'm Home!

...

One of the first beautiful things I saw upon touchdown at KLIA was a pair of nurses who were in the aerotrain heading towards where we were heading. What was beautiful about them was how one of them was Malay, and the other was Indian. The hurriedly got off their seats and walked toward the wrong exit.. and upon realizing they were about to hit into a wall, they quickly turned around, giggled, and ran the opposite direction together. They were both wearing the same jacket (not part of their uniform, mind you), so cute.

And during the flight, we were served by a very kind Malay air steward who midway through the trip smuggled 6 big packets (consisting of little individual packets inside) of yummy salted peanuts that they always give during the start of the journey. We were Chinese and Indian (or, half Indian and a mix of many other things ;)).

I smiled when I saw two Indian families dining at Restoran Soon Tuck just outside where I live.

And how this Malay man working for Rentokil (a company that kills household pests - no, not children, but termites and those sorts) came to Su-ling's house, and he kindly told us to be careful as we were about to go out. He said that in this festive season, there is an increase of snatch thefts around. As we left, we wished him Selamat Hari Raya, and he beamed at us.

This afternoon, my greeting of Selamat Hari Raya got me two huge beams from this two ladies who were serving me at Bread Story. Their beam was as if this was an unusual greeting coming from one of a Chinese descent.

I've always felt loved when a Malay friend or person greet me Gong Xi Fa Cai when I celebrate my new year. It is always doubly special when it comes from someone of a different race.

I love how I can try to speak in Bahasa, and attempt to put on the Malay slang to my words. And how my Malay friends can add on a Chinese slang and "Ah Moi" me when I see them. And how the Indian Mamak "kai sou" (calculates the final bill) in Chinese.

...

It gives me a unique sense of warmth.. and pride that the colours blend so harmoniously.

And it gives me the biggest H word that keeps me sane every time I contemplate buying a ticket to go back to Adelaide..

Hope.

In my despair after hearing so much negativity from friends and family about my return to this land of "no hope", I struggled to reconcile a God worthy to be praised and One who does mighty and wondrous deeds - with the current situation of the nation I am in.

And, (this is really becoming a play of words) in another moment of despair, I was directed to a passage in Habakkuk (another H word! :)), where he was complaining about the situation he was in.


Habakkuk's Complaint
² How long, O LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, "Violence!"but you do not save?
³ Why do you make me look at injustice? Why do you tolerate wrong?
Destruction and violence are before me; there is strife, and conflict abounds.
⁴ Therefore the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails.
The wicked hem in the righteous, so that justice is perverted.

The Lord 's Answer
⁵ "Look at the nations and watch—and be utterly amazed.
For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told.

...

He is doing something in these days.. not me. And He is doing something I wouldn't believe, even if I was told.

Idealism is for the birds. I reckon, perhaps not. We've been promised Hope, soo much Hope for this decaying world.. that if only more of us believe enough in that Hope promised to us, share it around.. and take up our role seriously in making that Hope a reality.. I wonder how much things can and will change.

Hoodnights.

In the Sticky Land :)

Where you wake up from your afternoon nap drenched in sweat. And the layer of oil on your face is enough to fry an egg.

SOOOO HHHHOOOOOTTTTT AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

But other than that, it has been.. good.

I'm back. I can't believe I'm back and 3 years has passed just like that, but I am.

Have been eating and eating and eating.

And have gone to Ipoh, Taiping, Penang, Singapore, JB, and Labis.

As of now, it is still too hot to continue sitting here to type.

I'm alive and well, and I'll be back on this page soon ;)

Need to shower.