It's in times like these when blogging is absolutely necessary.
Regardless of whether or not I will die at work tomorrow because I didn't sleep at 10pm.
...
That conflict.
Idealism vs. Realism.
Yeah, that conflict.
...
I found 3 words through Psychology that describes best a huge part of who I am.
Just-world belief.
How ironic that phrase, especially when we live in a world where nothing is fair, let alone just.
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As a kid, I hated it every time we had to split a packet of biscuits/chocolates between us 3 siblings. Because things usually come in even numbers. And splitting it between 3 kids would mean either one of us would get one extra.
OR, we'll just have to go through the hassle of dividing the last piece equally into 3 EQUAL (this is a necessity!) parts.
OR, we can just throw away the last biscuit/chocolate so that nobody gets any of it.
Since then, I vowed to have 4 kids (because 2's too quiet for my liking).
I don't like people giving me things I (think) I don't deserve. And I don't like giving people things I (think) they don't deserve.
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20 years or so down the road, I'm still that kid that I was long ago.
I (still) can't stand it when things are not fair, although I've learnt to loosen up more these days (a necessity, or I'd have a death certificate by now.. what an award!).
Just that, at 23.. biscuits and chocolates have turned into larger real-life events. Like the poor and the rich. In every sense of the word.
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I own a Bubble. A Bubble I keep myself in. That Bubble that tells me that I have what it takes to try and make things more equitable, if not fair (just).
But my Bubble isn't exactly the safest place I can live in.
When I have time to browse through other bubbles - such as Facebook and Blogger, I realise that many people outside my Bubble are moving on with what is called Life.. and moving on fast, they are.
People outside my Bubble have little time and tolerance to what goes on within my Bubble.
And every time Bubble breaks, I am afraid to rebuild it. And I live life just the way it is lived outside Bubble.
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I am going nuts, living in and out of my Bubble.
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What is that place called - that place where my Bubble and the world can co-exist?
Either that, or I will just have to exterminate this Bubble and do away with this disease of a Just-world belief.
...
Ugh.
15 years ago
2 comments:
just remember you have the ONE who holds the universe, follow HIM, don't overtake HIM
The splitting between 3 is a pain, isn't it.
But that's life.
Nothing is fair.
And sometimes, nothing seems real either.
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